Previous Staff Book Selections
Here are all previous book selections recommended by the staff at The Brandywine Center. Remember, through our partnership with Amazon.com, you can order these books -- or any others -- directly from our site. Click on the book link, or on the Amazon.com banner below.
Changing for Good by James Prochaska, John Norcross and Carlo DiClemente
Why don't I exercise, eat better, stop smoking, cut my spending, and quit procrastinating? It must be lack of willpower. Unlikely say these authors, who have researched the process of change over many years and with many different people. They help us to understand that change, in the form of real actions occur only after we work through necessary stages on the way to taking action. Read about yourself in this fascinating book on making changes and making them last. (Note: counselors in training and others will find this book helpful in understanding why clients don't make changes just because you told them to!)
This is a happy and positive book that rethinks how to deal with the obsession with thinness by which American women are plagued. Roth identifies the damage from this obsession and the ways that women sabotage themselves by their expectations and their habits. She then helps to identify how to live with food in ways that allow us to live and to love and to celebrate life, no matter what.
This is a spiritual book, helping women embrace the mid-life passage. Susan Weed discusses in great detail alternative remedies for symptom management as well as rituals for safe passage beyond menopause. This book is good for the soul.
This is book provides a clear guide to the specific kinds of behaviors and attitudes that will erode the foundation of a marriage and the ingredients necessary to improve a marriage. His more recent book , Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, is a good companion to this book. What makes this work unique is that it is empirically based and not just Gottman's ideas or theories. The recommendations come from in-depth studies of couples over many years in his lab in Seattle. This is a practical guide for couples -- it includes checklists and quizzes so that you can do a thorough assessment of your marriage. The illustrative examples are from actual couples. I would recommend this book to couples who are experiencing marital problems as well as to couples who want to learn how to improve their relationships.
The teen years have been described as a time of "normal psychosis." This thorough and eminently practical book offers both parents and teen the means to navigate this often turbulent period of life.
Flying Solo is based on interviews with 90 women, ages 40-55, who are single and who feel satisfied with their lives. The authors do a beautiful job of depicting the societal pressures and negative messages our couple-centered culture sends to single women. The insights garnered from these women on overcoming these stereotypes and creating rich, full lives can be helpful to women who are struggling with being single.When Mothers Work: Loving Our Children Without Sacrificing Our Selves by Joan K. Peters
When Mothers Work is bold and honest about the potential benefits that being a working mother has for women, their children, and their marriages. This practical and readable book challenges the myth that a good mother is a woman who gives up her true self. Instead, Peters advocates that through work, women can preserve their identities and can teach their children to become both independent and intimately connected, if their partners share equally in parenting. To describe alternative ways to successfully balance intimate family lives and meaning work, this book draws upon consultation with therapists, the work of feminist psychologists, current research, and the stories of twelve families.
Winner of the Pulitzer Prize, this is a compelling story of family tragedy - a father and his daughters, their passion for the land, and their extremely complicated and conflicted feelings toward each other. A Thousand Acres is also a novel about incest. Jane Smiley enlightens and haunts us as we learn about the impact of physical, sexual and emotional abuse on individuals and families.
Too Good for Her Own Good by Claudia Bepko and Jo-Ann Krestan
This wise and useful book poses the question, "If I'm so good, why do I feel so bad?" The authors explain how women often attempt to live by unattainable standards that frequently leave them feeling inadequate and powerless. An alternate approach, which incorporates balance, this book offers a path to more healthy, sharing relationships without loss of self.
Outsmarting the Mid-life Fat Cell by Debra Waterhouse
This is a great book, not just about mid-life weight management, but about the menopausal transition, explained in easy-to-understand language. Waterhouse explains why it is necessary for our bodies to change at mid-life and addresses attitude, fitness, eating habits, food choices, and lifestyle issues to help women with this transition. It is a very positive, uplifting book that is both humorous and practical. You can use this one book as a manual for negotiating your mid-life biological and psychological changes. I recommend it wholeheartedly.
The Seven Principles for Making a Marriage Work by John Gottman
Based on comprehensive research of thousands of couples, Dr. Gottman offers clear and specific guidelines for a healthy and lasting marriage. Central to a strong marriage is the "marital friendship." Dr. Gottman offers ways of nurturing and maintaining this key component of a satisfying relationship.
The Daily Relaxer by Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning
A great book for anyone who wants to learn relaxation techniques. This user-friendly book includes over 40 relaxation techniques that take only five minutes to do. For each relaxation technique there is a short explanation of how and why the technique works and for what type of situation or stress it is particularly helpful. With practice, it is possible to use these relaxers to relieve physical tension, calm your mind, and decrease stress, anxiety, and depression.
The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships by Harriet Lerner
This book legitimizes the experience of anger - as a signal that women must pay attention to. Anger tells us that something is wrong in our relationships, that we are being hurt, that our rights are being violated or that our needs are not being adequately met. Dr. Lerner conveys wisdom, humor, and compassion in her descriptions of the relationship "dance." She teaches us how to be more separate, to stop over functioning, and to express anger in constructive ways. The book is replete with personal anecdotes and gems of insight - a must read for all women!
I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression by Terrence Real
This is a well-written and engaging work that speaks to the prevalence and cost of male depression in our culture. Real, a family therapist and teacher, argues that male depression is misunderstood and under-diagnosed. He identifies behaviors such as rage, violence, abusive interactions, addictions, workaholism and emotional cut-offs in relationships as symptoms of chronic depression in men. Vignettes from his clinical work and personal experiences bring the issues to life. The author eloquently challenges the gender roles that keep men isolated interpersonally and divorced from their emotional lives. The book is at its best when Real makes the case for giving men permission to embrace their emotional experience and invest time and energy in intimate relationships.
Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom by Christiane Northrup
Northrup offers a general women's health book that covers a broad range of topics from a "non-overly medicalized" perspective. The book provides alternative answers and solutions to common women's health questions. This is a very refreshing and encouraging book to read and reference frequently.
Giving Away Simone by Jan L. Waldron
Written by a biological mother about her search for her adopted daughter, this book provides a realistic view into the complexity of adoption. The author discloses a range of feelings and occasional ambivalence, as she tells of the stormy reunion and subsequent stabilized relationship with her daughter.
The Girlfriends’ Guide to Pregnancy: Or Everything Your Doctor Won’t Tell You by Vicki Lovine
The first book everyone buys when they learn they are pregnant is “What to expect when you’re expecting.” The second book everyone should buy is Vicki Iovine’s very practical, funny and tell-it-like-it-is book on everything you’ve ever wanted to know about giving birth but were afraid to ask. This author, a mother of 4, shares her stories and those of her many girlfriends, covering everything from buying nursing bras to adjusting to your body’s transformation to what really happens in the delivery room. Buy it for yourself or a friend; I guarantee it will reassure and entertain you.
Surviving an Eating Disorder: Strategies for Family and Friends by Michele Siegel, Judith Brisman and Margot Weinshel
This book is a wonderful resource for family members and friends of someone struggling with an eating disorder. It provides insight into the underlying issues of eating disordered behavior as well as guidance on how to deal with a loved one’s denial. In addition, the book offers (a) information on treatment, (b) eating disorder resources and (c) practical recommendations on handling food related concerns. This book helps combat the frustration and helplessness that family and friends often experience by providing clear, constructive changes that can be made to support a loved one’s recovery.
Imagine a Woman in Love with Herself: Embracing Your Wisdom and Wholeness by Patricia Lynn Reilly
This book is a soothing balm to the insecurities that plague women’s attitudes about themselves and their bodies. The message in the book is a familiar one -- the importance of self-acceptance and self-definition as the foundation for mental health. The lyrical nature of the book and its rich spirituality give it its power to transform. The author uses poetry, imagination, breathing exercises and meditation to teach women how to celebrate who we are at this moment in time and to foster wholeness and healing. This book is a good resource for women in the process of change and a wonderful booster when we need to be reminded of our uniqueness.
SoulWork: Finding the Work You love, Loving the Work You Have by Deborah P. Bloch and Lee J. Richmond
SoulWork is for those who aspire to express your spirits at work. Seven spiritual themes in work and career are addressed in the book: change, balance, energy, community, harmony, calling , and unity. Each theme is explored in a chapter; each chapter includes inspirational stories, activities, exercises, and meditations to help you incorporate your spirit at work. This is a rare career self-help book because it addresses questions of meaning, that is spiritual questions, as these questions relate to work.
Women with Attention Deficit Disorder: Embracing Disorganization at Home and in the Workplace by Sari Solden
This book addresses the problem of the stereotype of ADD boys and the resulting underdiagnosis of girls and women. In discussing that ADD is an equal-opportunity disorder that affects boys and girls, men and women, Solden identifies some of the unique problems faced by girls and women brought on by cultural and social expectations. She identifies three empowering steps of living with ADD: restructuring one’s life, renegotiating relationships, and redefining self-image.
Dance of Intimacy: A Woman’s Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships by Harriet Lerner
A classic in the self-help literature, this wonderfully written book addresses complex issues in a very understandable language, and includes actual stories about women’s struggles with intimacy. Lerner applies family systems, feminist and psychodynamic theories to the understanding of intimate relationships with partners, parents, siblings, and friends. This book teaches us to have a greater respect and appreciation for how we bring patterns of relating into our current relationships that we developed while growing up in our families. This is not a how-to book – it is more about gaining deeper insight into ourselves and why we get stuck in relationships. This is a valuable book for individuals and for couples.
Our Guys by Bernard Lefkowitz
Written from a reporter’s perspective, this book documents the sexual assault of a cognitively-limited teenage girl and the subsequent trial of the boys involved. Although intense, this documentary provides valuable insight into upper-middle class culture and the raising of boys in this culture, which often undervalues human integrity.
Afraid to Eat: Children and Teens in Weight Crisis by Frances M. Berg
This book focuses on four major problems: dysfunctional eating, eating disorders, size prejudice, and overweight issues. It contains advice for parents and teachers, and emphasizes that social change is needed in schools, organized sports, and federal policies to improve the current, overly narrow focus on eating disorders. It also discusses the unique problems posed by eating disorders for boys and minorities.
When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies: Freeing Yourself from Food and Weight Obsession by Jane R. Hirschmann, Carol H. Munter
This is a must read for women who are working on a healthier relationship with food and their bodies. The authors explore women’s obsessive preoccupation with dieting and our negative body thoughts, which they call ‘bad body fever.’ They offer compelling explanations for ‘bad body fever’ and the self-esteem dilemmas that derail female development in our culture. Their principles break new ground in understanding the complex relationship women have with their bodies. The authors provide lots of strategies and exercises to help women move forward with self-acceptance and a healthy partnership with their bodies. The text is well written but intellectually rigorous. It is a challenging read.
Succulent Wild Woman: Dancing With Your Wonder Full Self by Sark
Sark clearly paved the way for self-help books that were colorful, creative, and not-so-heavy. Sark laughs at herself while she critiques the culture and inspires us in many ways. The book is filled to capacity with witticisms, poetry, quotations, questions, doodling, and whatever else the author can come up with to nurture and vitalize the self. One of my favorite Sarkisms: “Marry yourself and never leave!” What a treat!
Kitchen Table Wisdom: Stories That Heal by Rachel Naomi Remen
Kitchen Table Wisdom is a compilation of short stories written by a physician and therapist about her own chronic illness and the patients she has aided. These stories address, in a powerful way, central spiritual issues: suffering, meaning, love, faith and miracles. The book is moving and inspirational.
Circle of Stones: Woman’s Journey to Herself by Judith Duerk
This is a book that helps us to celebrate being women and being part of womankind. Duerk references ancient cultures where the Feminine was worshipped. It is poetic, meditative, and soulful -- you can read it many times and would be a great book to take on a personal retreat. It will touch you at an emotional and spiritual level. This book speaks to the value of discovering our inner wisdom and connecting to our true self. It teaches us how to embrace our pain, sadness, and depression because they are necessary to achieving deeper levels of self-understanding and self-acceptance. The book also emphasizes the healing power of our connection to other women and the importance of initiating our daughters into womanhood. I recommend this book to any woman. It would also a good choice for someone wanting to work on self-esteem.
Crooked Little Heart by Anne Lamott
Metaphors and humor – two of my favorite elements in therapy -- are beautifully woven into this story of 13-year-old Rosie Ferguson as she faces the complexities of adolescence. Lamott gives a warm and sensitive view of Rosie’s confusion in her relationships -- with her mother, with her father who died when she was younger, and with herself, evidenced by her cheating in competitive tennis games. Adolescent struggles with ambition, dependency, rebellion, friendships and death are all told via Lamott’s sharp humor and sensitivity. In some ways she reminds us that we all live with “crooked little hearts.”
She’s Come Undone by Wally Lamb
This is a novel about many things: loss, abuse, recovery from abuse, obesity, compulsive eating, mothers and daughters, fathers and daughters, and relationships. But most importantly it is a story about a young woman’s struggle to find herself. Wally Lamb has written a book that should have been written by a woman. This novel, while filled with pain, anguish and grief, teaches us about hope and the power to overcome adversity.
The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd
Every once in awhile, I read a book that so moves me that I have to tell everyone I know about the book and insist that my best friends read it immediately. This is absolutely true of The Secret Life of Bees, a story about 14 year old Lilly’s search for her mother and the pieces of her past. The story is deceivingly simple. Lilly, at age 14 feels a strong yearning for information about her mother, who died when she was 4 years old. She has been raised by an abusive father and Rosaleen, a black nanny. When Rosaleen gets herself into a jam, Lilly rescues her and the two run away in search of information about Lilly’s mother. The two are given shelter by three sisters May, June and August Boatwright, beekeepers and the makers of Black Madonna Honey. It is in their home and through these relationships that Lilly learns about her mother and confronts the pain of mother loss in her life. This is a story about mother love, forgiveness, feminine strength, wisdom, healing, and friendship. It is a story about finding mothers in others, but most importantly about finding the mother in ourselves. Sue Monk Kidd interweaves heartbreak with humor and wit and provides us with hope for moving beyond our pain through connection, acceptance and love. I think this is a must read for all women.
Open House by Elizabeth Berg
This fictional account of one woman's experience of marital separation is a story of inspiration, strength, humor and tears. Samantha comes to realize she has lost more than her husband. Music, art, friendships, her self-awareness have been lost in her attempts to be the good wife to her successful husband. Her story is one of love and rediscovery as she deals with herself, her son and the lost marriage.
The 9 Steps to Financial Freedom by Suze Orman
Financial freedom is not only about knowing how and where to invest one’s money in order to grow wealth. Financial freedom is also about discovering and uncovering the fears that affect finances and create barriers to getting out of debt, getting one’s financial house in order, and growing wealth. Suze Orman’s nine steps teach readers to turn toward their money and face their fears in order to achieve financial freedom. This is the first personal finance how-to book that addresses the emotional, psychological, and even spiritual components of managing money. An engaging, informative, and easy read.
This Place I Know: Poems of Comfort selected by Georgia Heard
This collection of poetry was created in the aftermath of September 11th, but speaks to each of us when we seek comfort of any kind. Poetry, like music, reaches our spirit and our soul, as do poems such as “Stars,” “Hold Fast Your Dreams” and “The Peace of Wild Things.” It reminds us that we are not alone, and that suffering is a basic human emotion, that can be soothed through connection with others. The poems touch on feelings of loss, fear and despair, as well as hope and inspiration. To enhance the beauty of the book, eighteen renowned book artists illustrate each of the poems. Perfect for someone who needs to “cry and cry till I was done.”
Keys to Parenting Your Anxious Child by Katharina Manassis, M.D.
This is the most useful book I have found to help parents deal with an anxious child. The author describes how anxiety develops, how worried children think, and how a variety of practical interventions can help children master their fears. Without blaming the parents, Dr. Manassis also suggests ways in which parents can alter their own behavior to promote greater self-confidence in their child. The Creative Journal: the Art of Finding Yourself by Lucia Capacchione
The author of this book is an art therapist who writes about the healing power of writing, offering a series of exercises designed to help release inner potential through journaling. Utilizing drawings, scribbles, poetry, letters, and a variety of other modalities, she encourages the reader to try many different ways to access her own inner resources in the process of self-discovery. The healing power of journaling is becoming more widely acknowledged in the medical and mental health fields. This book guides the reader to try a multiplicity of expressive forms to facilitate self-healing.
Desperately Seeking Self: An Inner Guidebook for People with Eating Problems by Viola Fodor
This is an engaging, easy read that introduces clients to the values and principals that guide eating disorder recovery work. These are central therapeutic strategies that anyone suffering from eating problems should be familiar with. The author does a skillful job of shifting the focus away from body image and food-related symptoms and clarifying the psychological and spiritual issues that are at the core of eating disorder behavior. The message is about being quiet and available to yourself and reflecting on internal cues in order to access internal wisdom and healing resources from within. Psychic pain is reframed as a meaningful sign of conflict and an opportunity for deeper connection to self. Self-defeating beliefs are identified. Strategies for change and transformation are presented. There is a section with structured questions to encourage the reader to reflect on personal issues. The author is a practicing therapist who has resolved her own serious eating disorder. Her personal disclosures give richness and authenticity to the text. This is a useful resource for clients early on in recovery work and for family/significant others wishing to develop a deeper understanding of eating disorder issues.
The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran
Poet, philosopher, and artist Kahlil Gibran published this classic in 1923, writing eloquently about the experiences that confuse and challenge us: love, children, death, good and evil, joy and sorrow. Even as the world becomes more complicated and hectic, Gibran’s poetry remains profound and meaningful. In a clear and simple, yet beautiful style, the words of these poems are wise and inspirational. If you have never experienced Gibran’s work, I encourage you to read The Prophet; and let the poems speak to you.
Riding the Bus with My Sister: A True Life Journey by Rachel Simon
Rachel Simon’s sister, Beth, has mental retardation. Even if you can’t relate, keep reading because maybe you really can. After all, who hasn’t been humbled by the character and insight offered by everyday people. Without much to lose, except her hectic and isolated life, Simon works to mend her distant relationship with Beth by committing to spending one year taking part in Beth’s “hobby” -- riding the bus all day, every day (except Sundays when buses don’t run in this unnamed Pennsylvania town). What she gains is a view of Beth’s contented life, from her long-term relationship with her boyfriend to her community of quirky bus drivers who offer wisdom, philosophy and kindness to both Simon sisters. Simon, a local author, offers a beautiful portrayal of her relationship with Beth, visiting many emotions, from love to guilt to impatience to irritation with a determined, capable, and often stubborn sister. A gentle book – and a pleasure to read. Hop on and enjoy the ride!
We Have to Talk: Healing Dialogues Between Men and Women by Samuel Shem, M.D. and Janet Surrey, Ph.D.
This book is based on a Relational Model that emphasizes the importance of mutual responsibility and mutual empathy. The authors give insights into gender differences and how they can create disconnection. They explain how the process of working through differences provides opportunity for growth and connection. They introduce the concept of creating a “We” so that the focus is not only on what is good for each individual but also what is in the best interest of the relationship. The most valuable part of the book is that it follows three couples through a one-year intensive group experience. Each couple shares the unique challenges they face as they move through disconnection and isolation to achieve greater intimacy.
Dress Codes: Of Three Girlhoods – My Mother’s, My Father’s and Mine by Noelle Howey
With edgy humor, courage and remarkable sensitivity, Noelle Howey describes her search for identity and family in this true story about her father’s coming out as a transsexual. The story is told from Noelle’s perspective, as a young girl growing up in suburban Ohio, trying to make sense of her father’s distance and looking to her mother and grandmother to support her as she moves from childhood to adolescence. When in her early adolescence, her father shares with her his “secret”, they then begin a new chapter in their relationship. This book chronicles the identity changes in Noelle, her mother and her father as each grows to accept themselves and one another. The reader is given real insights into transgenderism as we travel with Noelle on her journey. One cannot help but feel a sense of awe and compassion for the struggles of each member of the family. This is a book that forces us to confront our notions about gender and what constitutes a “normal” family. It is also a story about love and the ways in which a healthy family allows each member to grow and develop. One can not read this book without being moved.
Learning to Leave: A Woman's Guide by Lynette Triere & Richard Peacock
For any woman considering separation and /or divorce this book is a must read. In realistic and practical language the authors lead the reader through many of the relational, emotional, social, psychological, financial and legal considerations in the process of leaving a marriage. Learning to Leave is a comprehensive guide to sort through the complexities of ending a relationship and continuing on with life.
Grief Therapy edited by Karen Katafiasz
Our culture is uncomfortable with the grieving process and yet no matter what age we are, the death of a loved one significantly affects us. This pint-sized book is full of pearls of wisdom regarding the grief process. Each sentiment is accompanied by a sweet, poignant drawing. Grief Therapy invites readers to experience grief and all its facets as well as to draw strength, hope and support from G-d and others. This book makes a thoughtful gift for someone you care about whom has experienced a loss.
Lost in Translation: A Life in a New Language by Eva Hoffman
This memoir is a jewel! The author is a Polish born Jewish émigré who left war- ravaged Krakow 1952, when she was thirteen years old. Looking back, she tells the story of her challenging transition from young teen to adulthood in a strange, new culture. In gorgeous prose, Eva Hoffman shares the pain and frustration of describing and interpreting experiences in a new language, and of growing up in a tumultuous time in the history of America. A girl who is lost and eventually finds herself, Eva Hoffman’s journey through adolescence has universal appeal.
Personal History by Katharine Graham
This is Katharine Graham's Pulitzer Prize winning memoir. She became an American celebrity during her tenure as publisher of the Washington Post in the era of the Pentagon Papers and Watergate. In later years she became an international figure in journalism, business and politics. Her account of the journalistic dilemmas and political pressures the paper confronted during the Watergate scandal is riveting. This history lesson, however, is only a small part of the book's appeal. Graham is an eloquent writer with a deep curiosity about the world and human endeavors. She combines these qualities with a candor and introspection that brings the book to life. There is plenty of drama in her story including her personal journey into adulthood, her romantic union with a brilliant and politically connected husband, and his unfortunate decent into mental illness and ultimately suicide. The heart of the book, however, is her transformation from a rather insecure, highly traditional wife and mother to a talented and respected woman and business leader. Her tale is one of confronting adversity with dignity and courage and using her experience to excel. It is a privilege to get to know her through her book.
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