Brandywine Center Annual Women's Retreat

Living a Life That Matters

THE 2003 FIFTH ANNUAL
SOWING, GROWING & NURTURING:
A Women’s Retreat

...took place on April 5, 2003 at Harry’s Savoy Grille. By all accounts it was our “best retreat ever” with over 100 women attending. The day began with a continental breakfast followed by an opening presentation “Living Courageously” by Robin Sesan. Morning workshops were enthusiastically received, lunch was delicious and the afternoon workshops enlightening. According to most of the retreat participants the closing activity on living mindfully was just the right way to end the day.

Through the sale of “Lucinda” Woman pins we were pleased to be able to donate $1000.00 to WomanSpace, a permanent housing program for women who have been homeless, are HIV positive and struggling with addiction recovery issues.

Here are some of the highlights from 2003...

Retreat Opening: Living a Life That Matters

As in previous years, the energy in the room was high, the warmth and positive feelings were wonderful and I felt thrilled when I looked around the room and saw over 100 women from many walks of life eager to spend a day on self-reflection, connection and renewal. The theme we chose for this years’ retreat “Living a Life That Matters” seemed particularly relevant in these very uncertain times. And so I posed the questions:

I discussed the work of Marty Seligman, Ph.D. on authentic happiness and the developing of signature strengths which add meaning and purpose to our lives; one of those strengths being courage. Through stories and personal examples, I was able to highlight the extraordinary acts of courage women perform every day in living our ordinary lives. We broadened the definition courage, to include living with an open heart. We discussed fears as barriers to acting courageously and how to move beyond these fears.

We then moved into an experiential activity in which retreat participants were asked to identify their barriers to acting courageously and to write a “Woman of Courage” story about challenges, obstacles, and tragedies they had endured and how courage helped them weather the storm(s) and to conclude with how they emerged as the heroine from these adversities. Of course, we did not have enough time to fully explore these issues, but many women were able to claim how courageous they have been in their lives, through writing their story. Some women bravely stood up in the large group and read their stories. We all put on fluorescent “I am a Courageous Woman” sticker and closed the session with Maya Angelou’s poem, Still I Rise. It was truly magical to see women shifting their perceptions of themselves as a result of this experience.

In the words of Anais Nin, women came to realize that” the day came when the risk it took to remain tightly closed in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom. Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage”. So, we learned that living life courageously is not really about running into a burning building, climbing unscalable mountains, crossing unforgable rivers or trying to fly unreasonable heights. But rather, courage is a matter of the heart. And as women we are all experts in matters of the heart.

Morning Workshops

The Art of Working Together: Anger, Conflict and Communication

Forty-five women could finally agree on a few things! They all get angry, feel guilty for feeling angry, and have ineffective ways of communicating when upset that leave them feeling powerless and even more upset. The Art of Working Together workshop helped the participants to realize that often what makes them angry in their lives is very legitimate and reasonable. They were able to identify a range of gender, religious, family, ethnic and cultural messages that have created shaming messages about women and anger that leave them feeling very dis-empowered. Discussion explored the healthy role of anger and conflict in an assortment of relationships. Finally, a number of specific communication techniques were discussed to use when angry or dealing with a volatile situation, whether at home or work.

Will the Circle Be Unbroken: Nurturing Our Sons

In a culture that values aggression and stoicism in boys and males, it is difficult for mothers and sons to swim against the current. In this workshop, we explored “the boy code” and "the pack rules” through discussion, film clips and a small group writing exercise. The workshop explored cultivating empathy in boys as a way of offering alternatives to non-emotionality and the resulting disconnection from self and others. Participants shared ideas, explored their hopes for themselves and their sons (or the boys in their lives) and wished for more time to discuss their thoughts and experiences with the group.

Creative Journaling: A Mirror for the Self

The Creative Journaling Workshop provided participants the opportunity to explore some individual concerns through a series of directed journaling assignments. We identified the different kinds of journaling (descriptive, deepening, artistic, free form, or dream recording) and talked about the necessary tools to make journaling successful: time, privacy, and writing implements. Each woman was asked to write a letter in her journal to either a person or concern and explore the levels of feelings involved in that problem as a way to deepen her understanding of her own emotional responses. Having a safe, supportive, quiet environment with time to reflect and write in a new journal started many women in the group on the path of journaling!

Embracing Our Ever-Changing Bodies

This workshop was experiential in nature and used ritual, movement exercises, group interaction and meditation exercises to help women have an experience of embodiment and move to fuller connection and acceptance of the body they have today. We worked on the paradox that mindful change comes from the starting point of “radical self-acceptance”. This means that the tools and energy we need to make changes in our lives come from accepting who we are at this moment in time and shifting to a stance of self-empathy. We considered mid-life issues from the perspective of the choice of regeneration and degeneration. Full connection to our bodies as we age invites us to be more attuned to our emotional and spiritual lives and facilitates the shift to deeper internal sources of connection, nourishment and energy. This point of view suggests that aging is not something to battle, but a stage in life that has its own unique wisdom and pleasure.

Afternoon Workshops

What’s Self-Love Got to Do with It?

In this very popular workshop, we explored the concept of self-love—developing an honest and compassionate relationship with our selves. Self-love has to do with EVERYTHING in women’s lives—it helps us be open to self-discovery, to accept ourselves unconditionally, and to take good care of our selves and others.

Participants learned by doing in this workshop. We began with a mirror exercise—looking at our selves for ten whole minutes—not easy to do for many, but offering some fruitful discussion about the qualities we love and hate in ourselves, as well as the barriers to self-acceptance. We ended with declarations of self-love all around—very uplifting!

A brief, affirming breathing exercise was followed by a longer meditation, designed to promote self-awareness, trust in our bodies and emotions, and a deeply relaxing means for finding a loving home inside our selves.

I often wonder—if women stopped hating themselves, and hating their bodies…if instead we became truly FULL of our selves, full of love and compassion….how different the world would be.

Working with Heart

The goal of this workshop was to explore how one can transform work from a quest for a paycheck into a meaningful experience integrating mind, body, and spirit. We did this by actively discussing what leads us to feel that our work is a calling, bringing joy and energy to one’s life, as opposed to what causes us to feel drained, dissatisfied, and under-appreciated at work.

We explored many work-related issues, including money, meaning, and connection with coworkers, prestige, and career change. Women shared how they are transforming some challenging careers into meaningful experiences through loving bonds with coworkers, humor, compassion for others, and (for some) the goal to move on to a new career in the future. Participants engaged in a visual imagery exercise to tap into their own inner wisdom and then discussed specific ways to work with heart on a daily basis.

Girl World 2003: Helping Our Daughters Become Strong Women

In this workshop we focused on the world of adolescent girls and highlighted ways to help our daughters (or girls in our lives) make safe passage to young adulthood. Using the metaphor of our daughters leaving the safety of the boarding dock to the unexplored and at times wild river of adolescence we wondered aloud about:

• Whom and what might she take along?
• What would be the skills she might need?
• Who might be her companions on the trip?
• What would be on the banks of the river as her voyage passes?
• What should her community put in the water, on land and in the air to support her passage?

And how as mothers we could help our daughters be courageous and remain true to themselves on this journey.

Through music, videos, and dialogue this workshop immersed participants in the world of pre-teens and teens. We tried to help mothers experience greater empathy about their daughters’ world and the many pressures girls are under related to social acceptance, inclusion/exclusion into peer groups, appearance, dress and body image, relationships with boys, sex and sexuality and alcohol and drug use. Mothers were asked to explore some of their own experiences during their teen years and what they most wanted from their mothers. We stressed the importance of communication between mothers and their teen daughters as means of fostering self-esteem and resilience.

Ya Gotta Sing When Your Spirit Says Sing

It was a rousing time of song and camaraderie for 20 women. With lyrics in hand, we tried a little bit of everything -- traditional folk songs, old Top 40 hits, Beatles and Broadway. Our percussion instruments added some rhythm to the noise and participants took turns making requests for the next song to be sung from our song lyric sheet. At the suggestion of one group member, we decided to gather again during the afternoon break to serenade the entire Women's Retreat in song -- "Let me be there" was the selection and it put a nice exclamation point on the end of our joyful experience!

We hope to see many new and old friends at our Sixth Annual Women’s Retreat - April 3, 2004!

You can review the details of previous Annual Retreats from 2001 to the most recent:

2001 | 2002 | 2003 | 2004 | 2005 | 2006 | 2007