Brandywine Center Women's Retreat

The Art of Simply Living

The Seventh Annual
Sowing, Growing and Nurturing:
A Women’s Retreat

The 7th Annual Sowing, Growing, Nurturing Women’s Retreat was held Saturday, April 9, 2005 at the Christiana Hilton in Newark, Delaware. Here are some of the highlights of the retreat:

It was a splendid day for over 100 participants in this year’s women’s retreat. With our theme, “The Art of Simply Living,” we had hoped that many women would not only enjoy the day, but also leave feeling they had less to do, rather than more. By many reports that goal was happily achieved. Mark your calendars now for the 8th annual Women’s Retreat, scheduled for Saturday, April 1, 2006 and stay tuned for details to follow!

As in past years, the day began with a continental breakfast and the opening of exhibits, including books from Borders, hand-crafted jewelry by Becky Taccone (Kneaded Expressions), and our fundraising sale of Lucinda and Wild Women pins.

We are pleased to let you know that through the sale of our jewelry pins, we were able to donate $300 to benefit the Wilmington Women in Business Fresh Start Scholarship Fund. Established in 1996, this fund provides mentoring and financial incentive to women returning to school, to help them complete their education and improve their lives. Check out their website at www.wwb.org/freshstart.html

In addition, through the generous contributions of many retreat participants we were able to provide scholarships to the retreat to 16 women who otherwise would not have been able to attend. We thank you all for your support, kindness and generosity.


Opening the Day

Dr. Robin Sesan led the Opening, entitled, “The Art of Simply Living” by focusing the group on issues of forgiveness. How does forgiveness relate to simplifying? As she explained, “unresolved feelings, resentments, grudges and old pain leave us with “internal clutter,” tying us up both physically and emotionally. One path to letting go of feelings that no longer serve us is to learn to forgive one’s self or another for not being perfect.”

Some of the myths associated with forgiveness were challenged, such as the idea that to forgive is weak or naïve; that forgiveness means that you condone or forget the past; or that forgiveness can happen quickly.

Instead participants learned that we begin the work of forgiveness primarily for ourselves, and that we do not need another to forgive us, nor are we required to forgive another. The process of forgiveness involves opening up to life again and practicing living with an open heart. We can counteract the negativity associated with suffering by offering loving-kindness and gratitude, a beginning step toward feeling more peace, less conflict and more happiness. As Maya Angelou once said “A joyful spirit is evidence of a grateful heart.” Dr. Sesan concluded with the words of Marianne Williamson . . . “The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world.”

Group members were then invited to write Haiku poetry to capture forgiveness for ourselves. Here are some samples that participants agreed we could share with you.

Homecoming
Open waters greet
Peaceful, humble, soul soothing
Always brings me home

Forgiveness
It is mine to own
I cannot control others
I can control me

Divorce
Rejected, betrayed
Heart full of unhappiness
Open up to life!

Daughter of my Heart
Daughter of my heart
I could never have believed
That our lives would part

Strength
The morning is dark
Light comes slowly and quietly
The darkness is gone


Morning Workshops

When Less is More: Bringing Simplicity Home
Thanks to many wonderful insights from the audience, we had an engaging discussion of what a simpler life might look like and what holds us back in our more complicated, overcommitted roles. We imagined the challenges and freedoms of living 100 years ago, with significantly less convenience, but also fewer distractions from the important connections in our lives. Finally, responses were given to "What I'd like to practice saying 'no' to" and "What I'd like to practice saying 'yes' to." Participants "brought simplicity home" in the form of their own workbook, which allowed them to consolidate their learnings in one place. The group was motivated to simplify and to connect, evident by the insightful ideas shared throughout the workshop.


Svaroopa Yoga: Try on a Yoga Class!
Who these days doesn’t need more relaxation and tension release? Twenty women stretched out on the floor to experience the promise of yoga which is union with your true conscious self. Class began and ended in Shavasana, a guided awareness of the body. In between Shavasana, we moved through a series of asanas, yoga poses, which enable deep muscular release. The participants learned, “The Magic Four” a series of four poses that begin at the base of the spine (tailbone) and progress all the way through to the top of the spine sacrum, waist, ribcage, shoulders, neck and scull). Class participants had a taste of this new sense of vitality and openness through yoga practice. Svaroopa yoga is a compassionate and supportive yoga for all bodies, which with regular practice brings deep core openings in the body and mind. Support provides release! For more information on the Magic Four see 7/05 Yoga International, featuring Rama Berch, who developed this form of hatha yoga).

Self-awareness: The Path Inward
The self-awareness workshop offered all of us the opportunity to practice paying attention to what is happening inside. This is something we often forget to do in this frenetic society, where we are taught to focus our energies on what we can accomplish, win, or acquire.

For ninety minutes, we practiced mindfulness mediation focused on the body, mind, and spirit. Tuning into our most basic physical sensations proved to be enlightening to many, and provided some motivation to take better care of our bodies. Another activity challenged us to tune into emotions. This brought a lot of energy into the room, as we talked about how we often avoid attending to our deepest wounds, and the need for self-acceptance and healing. Some women left with a higher level of awareness of their pain, while others felt deeply comforted or uplifted by the experience. Overall, this very simple workshop seemed to leave people with a greater appreciation of the need for self-awareness practice in their daily lives.

Finding Your Spirit at Work
This workshop offered women a place to come together to discuss how we can foster the presence of our spiritual selves in our work environments. Initially we discussed what spirituality means to each of us, and how the presence or absence of our spirit manifests in our lives and in our work. The group shared a lot of ideas, varying from those who felt a lot of their spirit at work to those who felt a minimal presence of spirit. The facilitators led a visualization exercise designed to connect each women with her spirit, and then proposed some ideas to promote more ways of finding one’s spirit in one’s work community. The group was lively, engaged and thoughtful.

Afternoon Workshops

Finding Your Way to Authentic Happiness
This workshop presented the work of Martin Seligman, Ph.D. and the “Art of Authentic Happiness.” We began by exploring myths of happiness and understanding that external things often do not bring us happiness. We recognized that the experience of happiness is different for each person. For example, some search for happiness by seeking the pleasant life, but often become disillusioned. While pleasure and other positive emotions are certainly enjoyable, they really add little meaning and purpose to our lives. Others of us achieve the good life by using what Seligman calls our “signature strengths” to realize our potential in many arenas of our lives and living an authentic life in which we are true to ourselves. It is when we are using these signature strengths that we feel a sense of “flow” or losing oneself in the experience. Taking the good life one step further by using our signature strengths to make a contribution often leads to the meaningful life, one in which we are fulfilled and content with who we are, how we are living and what we have in our lives. Workshop participants were able to identify their signature strengths and begin thinking about how to integrate these into their lives to bring more meaning and hopefully more happiness. There is a wealth of information about the idea of Authentic Happiness on the website www.authentichappiness.org.

Relationships 101
This experiential workshop was designed to help participants brush up on their relationship skills as well as learn new skills. Despite the initial groans and anxiety when it was declared the workshop would be mostly small group role plays, every one really got into it and declared by the end they had fun and learned a lot. We began with a brief general discussion of relationship concerns and common problems in relationship communications. Then the group broke down into groups of three. Each person had the chance to 1) define the relationship role-play situation 2) be the other half of the relationship role play and 3) be the observer of the role-play. The role play was acted out and discussed in the triads and then we reconvened and discussed it with the whole group. Common themes that emerged were: most of us don’t listen well, many of us are trying to change the other person, the old cliché of “it isn’t as much what you say, as how you say it” is so TRUE, sometimes we have to agree to disagree, knowing when to take a “time out” from a heated discussion is critical to conflict resolution, our feelings are what they are, judging them doesn’t help and often hinders, and finally, we all have some work to do!

Expressing Your True Self: A Collage Workshop
This was a workshop of reflection and creativity. There was a selection of wooden boxes to choose from. Women decorated the outside of the box to reflect the part of themselves that they present to the world or an aspect of themselves they present to the world. The inside of the box expressed the self that is kept secret or is not easily shared or an aspect of the inner self. The boxes were rich in color, diversity and the themes expressed. Some of the themes included: caretaking vs. turmoil; perfection vs. self-attack; serenity vs. confusion; and competence vs. trauma. There was wonderful creativity and sharing in the room.

Necessary Losses: Exploring the Inevitable Passages of Adulthood
Recognizing that loss is a part of life, the participants of this workshop identified the many different kinds of losses they have experienced, beginning in childhood. We also named difficult feelings that resulted from this, and acknowledged growth that has occurred from the challenges of loss. In a supportive effort, the group decided to compile a list of resources for coping with loss which they have found helpful, and asked that we share it with all who are interested. Click here to read the “Tools for coping with the losses in our lives.”

Closing
Returning Home: Simply Being As a Way of Life
For the final portion of the Women's Retreat, we gathered together to reflect on our day. Participants were asked to consider this question: In the spirit of Living Simply, “What would you like to leave behind today? and “How might you lighten your load?" Each woman was given a piece of beautiful paper on which she could write her response. Then, in turn, each was asked to symbolically part with her paper, placing it in a basket that was passed around. Letting go of something that was visually and texturally so appealing reminded us all that letting go often engenders mixed feelings. Several women challenged themselves to share with the large group what they were letting go of and/or taking with them. We then said our final goodbyes and danced out to "Ease on Down the Road", music from the Broadway show, “The Wiz", in which we are reminded "not to carry nothin' that might be a load."

Please plan to join us for the Eighth Annual Women's Retreat, Saturday, April 1, 2006.

You can review the details of previous Annual Retreats from 2001 to the most recent:

2001 | 2002 | 2003 | 2004 | 2005 | 2006 | 2007 | 2008